I always knew that the church of my parents was not for me – regimented and hypocritical. Dust and ashes. Magnanimous and faux altruism.
Myself and K joined the Pagan Federation, and rose in rank to run the south east region in all it’s glory, but red tape and hierarchical wranglings tied us in knots, and so we stepped down, handing the reins (and boxes of files) over to our successors.
We meandered for a few years, trying things, working ideas and theories through, reading and studying everything we could get our grubby mitts on, and then, by pure chance we met P and E.
The coffee flowed, then wine, then whiskey; we talked for hours. So much to say, so much to bond over. And bond we did. For days, weeks, months. We explored norse, sumerian, nephilim, enochian, wiccan, druidry, shamanisn, high magik, egyptian – every path and bridge we could find. I learned to channel, to cast, to travel, to protect and to meditate – in fact everything that I’d worked so frigging hard on before. It all came easily and naturally.
And then, suddenly, like a candle burning down to a stub, we drifted. Our time had passed, as a foursome we had taken all we could from each other.
From then on, I knew my place in the ‘magikal’ world; I knew what didn’t feel right or work for me, and I had learned what did.
I am not wiccan, or norse, nor am I a shaman; I follow my own path through the spheres. I stand proudly with my goddess, and then we sit amongst the leaves and mulch and drink wine together, chatting like old mates – or at least that’s how it feels.
I will never do the airy fairy, fluffy bunny stuff – give me dirt, blood, sand and storms. Give the the moon on a dark night, give me the power of the feral flame. I long for the desert, the all encompassing, all embracing furnace that is her.
Hecate, Kali, Cybele, Ishtar and Isis – my call, my chant, my sisters.
This is the chaos that I follow; it burns within. My workings are base – no rituals, no ceremony, just what feels right. Carried out on the spot, spur of the moment. Immediate and intense.